I have this...this need to impress others. I feel like I am a different person around different people. I've been trying so hard to fit the mold of those around me, I have lost sight of my own heart and my own soul. Why do I care what others think?
Why? Because as humans, we are designed to be relational. We are designed to be with other people and to be a part of lives other than our own. Our hearts were made with an emptiness that longs to be filled. But, there is more. For, if we are living to please others, to please humans who are just as imperfect as we are, then we will get no where. We can never be enough to please our peers. We can never be all that they need. We can never be perfect. No one is a perfect person. And I (and all of us) have to become only who I am. Not like others, not what others want me to be. But how I was designed to be. Now all I have to do is dig deep inside my inner core and discover who I really am, not what the world tells me I am or who I have pretended to be.
And we look all around us to find that one person, or those people, who will fill the emptiness that makes our hearts cry. We look for something to make it go away. We turn to alcohol, shopping, busyness, friends, school, pornography, sex, drugs. The list goes on. Every person has those things that they do to make the hurt of life and the emptiness of our hearts disappear. I am no different. I strive to find friends that will make me happy, a man who will complete my heart, a story that makes my heart become excited. I am constantly busy, afraid that if I stop being busy, I will have to face my feelings, my deepest desires.
When those deepest desires surface, I realize that all this time I have been hiding. I have been hiding from myself. My confidence lies in what others think and my happiness lies in being liked by those around me. I strive to fill the emptiness in ways that will get me no where. And yet, I tend to forget to look the one place that will actually fill my heart completely. The one person that is actually perfect enough to fill the need of my relationally-constructed heart. The one person in whom my heart was created to adore. JESUS. Jesus longs to fill my heart, and all of our hearts. He is calling to all of us.
I have no one that I need to impress, and no one that I have to become. Jesus loves me for who I am, and who I am becoming. He knows everything there is to know about me, and he loves me despite it. He knows how much I (and all of us) long to be in an intimate relationship and have someone by our side everyday of our lives. He knows that we can't be satisfied in anything or any person on this earth. He wants to be the one to satisfy all of our hearts. He died so that he could be a part of our lives in the way that we desire, and that he desires. I can't impress Him enough or make Him love me more. He is already loving me with an everlasting love. Will I ever be able to reciprocate it? Will I let my heart be fully satisfied in Him? Will I let Himbe the one to heal my brokenness and my bruises, or will I continue to look in other places?
No comments:
Post a Comment