The Chains of Fear

Fear is something I am very familiar with. From my first moments of life to the present, fear has always been a part of me. As a child, I was afraid of almost everything--the ocean, loud noises, dogs, fires, burglars, kidnappers, swinging, biking, the dark, you name it. As I grew older, my fears did too. No longer was I deathly afraid of dogs and the ocean, but now new fears took over my life.

I am just now starting to realize how much fear has controlled every part of my life. When I am afraid, my defenses go up, my stubbornness grows and I hear myself allowing fear to control once again. Even the small things in life, like haircuts and getting rid of clothes I once wore, are a source of fear. You may think it sounds crazy, but it is true. I am deathly afraid of change. Things not being like they used to. When I go to choose new glasses, my fear is not "they don't look good"; instead it is "they don't look the same." Why am I so afraid of change? Why do I make myself sick with worry thinking about minor and major life changes? Why do I stop myself from enjoying new adventures in fear of what might happen? Why do I drive myself to a state of paranoia of what could happen at any given circumstance?

One answer: control. Somewhere deep inside my heart believes that having fear of something will either make it not happen or make it happen for sure. I think that by keeping everything the same as possible, I can control my life. By keeping my heart fearful, I can control what happens to me. I have this ingrained mindset that if I STOP fearing it, God will for sure make it happen to me to prove that I would survive.

Not that I think God is out to get me, but surely my heart must feel that God is not worthy of my trust. For if I release my fear, I will no longer have control--God will. And good things don't always happen when God is in control...he allows pain and hurt and disasters.....but if I keep fearing these things....they won't happen....right?

For some reason my mind believes that my fear has POWER to accomplish only what God can accomplish. Only God can have control of what happens. I am not able to control my own heart, so why should my fear try to control God? It is time I learn how GOOD my God is and how WORTHY he is of my trust.

It's time I stop believing the lies of Satan that I can control life as long as I remain chained in the dungeon of my fears. It is time to break the chains and enter the light--it is time to trust God to carry me through this life.

"Do not worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the PEACE of God that transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" Phil. 4:6

Release the chains of fear and enter the peace of knowing that God is in control--and he is GOOD.